Post by Samana:
Once your child has entered a group, he needs to understand about boundaries. Intense children often invade others space in their enthusiasm to share ideas. They can be loud crossing social boundaries with their voice. If you teach your child about boundaries, he can better understand how to relate to others. If you have more than one child, you can teach them at home. Siblings can be more supportive as your intense child learns how to relate. Teaching your child the awareness of space will help him in all his relationships.
Intense children are often reactive, getting angry if things don’t go their way or if they get overexcited. A more sensitive child can get easily overstimulated and become reactive as well. Breathe and keep your cool. It’s tempting to get reactive yourself, but remember you’re the coach here to support and guide her. Make sure your child doesn’t harm another child. Make it clear that you will not allow hitting, kicking or biting.
It’s important to help your child find resolution in conflicts. If he’s the aggressor, teach him to express his feelings and listen to others’ as well. He may need to step away and calm down before doing this. Kids are often just separated. They don’t learn to express their feelings or resolve conflicts. Bring him back to resolve the issue. Show him how to work with words instead of fists for resolution. Help both children to find the yes that allows everyone to be happy. Teach your child to respect other points of view and to work cooperatively.
Kids, especially siblings, love to tease each other. Teach your child when the teasing is no longer fun and gets derisive or shameful for the other child. Teach her that names like Chubby or Stupid aren’t allowed in your family. What you teach in the home carries over to interactions with other children or adults.
Teasing can become bullying. If this happens, teach your child to get adult support. Help her to feel respected so she doesn’t feel like a victim. Let her know its okay to get help if teasing is ongoing and upsetting. Children are vulnerable. We need to protect their self-esteem.
If you have a toddler, sharing is most likely an issue. He’s in the stage where he wants to establish what’s his. Taking turns is challenging for a young child. Having multiple toys is a good idea. Putting away toys your child is protective over helps when other children are over. If your child is older, talk to him about his feelings and teach him how important sharing is in friendship.
Losing at games is often hard for children. Intense or sensitive children can get easily frustrated. When your child isn’t upset, teach her how to be a good winner or to lose in style. Guide her to take a break if she feels too hot or upset and come back to the game when calmer.
Reinforce your child’s ability to resolve a conflict or share a toy. She’ll do it more and more.
Remember to see your child’s gifts. Help him feel good about himself so he can handle whatever happens in groups. The more you teach your child to love himself, the stronger he’ll be in all relationships.
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