Post by Samana:
Despite your best efforts to work with your child, tantrums can and do happen. Let’s talk about what to do with a tantrum. When children get in tantrums, they find it extremely difficult to stop themselves. Your child needs your help to calm down and regain control. Remember, if he is having a tantrum, he is often over tired, over stressed or over stimulated. If you can find and stop the trigger, you can stop the flood.
If he is overstimulated, take him to a quiet place. If he had to sit still for too long, find a place to let him run. If he had to deal with too many transitions, don’t go to another store. Pause and take a deep breath. You can often tune into what triggered your child and help him out.
Stay with your child. Your presence is key to helping your child to calm down. You can help them to work through strong emotions. Your child needs to know you care and accept them and are available for them. If you are getting too upset, tell your child you need to step away and walk away for a few minutes breathing and refocusing yourself.
Gentle touch calms the body. Try rubbing your child’s back or giving her a hug. This can help bring her pulse rate down.
A body under stress often needs to move. Take your child outside or in a hall to walk. If your child is more introverted, give him space but stay nearby.
Use distraction to draw your child’s energy elsewhere. The Lion's Pose from yoga is great to release tension. You can also make up a silly dance to do when your child is having a meltdown and do it with her. Make it up when your child is calm and use it during a tantrum. You can often get your child laughing.
Use a soft but firm voice and get to eye level with your child. This can be very calming. Your child needs to feel loved and supported not punished. Tell him to stop. Stay firm, gentle and focused.
As your child comes out of the tantrum, talk to her about what she is feeling. As she becomes more aware, she can start to see her own triggers. You can strategize together to prevent future tantrums.
Take care of yourself. If you had a rough day with your child, plan some time for yourself. Take a hot bath, go to bed early or call a sitter and have a night out.
If the tantrums continue despite all your best efforts, enlist the help of a professional. I work with parents and kids dealing with many behavior and intensity issues. Energy work, nutritional guidance and family coaching can all be very helpful.
Remember. Support both your child and yourself so everyone can feel better.
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