Post by Samana:
Persistence defined, Firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. This sounds like a useful skill to have for business, building a dream or achieving a goal. Martin Luther King and Thomas Edison used persistence to achieve amazing things. It would be sad to squelch our persistent children when later in life the trait may serve them well.
So how do you deal with a strongly persistent child? Persistence pays off, and kids can use this to get what they want. As a parent, you don’t want to get taken advantage of nor do you want to become a drill sergeant in your home. How do you find the balance?
Look for the Yes. Instead of quickly shutting your child down and saying No, consider finding ways to say Yes. Ask your child why they want what they are requesting. Do your best to listen and understand. Look for ways to work with them to problem solve on how you can find a Yes without simply giving in. You want to teach your child good problem solving skills and teamwork instead of how to battle for what they want.
For example, say your child really wants to have the latest version of Nintendo DS, which is rather expensive. First find out why it is so important to him and then work together to make it happen. You could offer your child to wait for his next birthday and have that be his one gift, or if he is older, he can cut lawns, shovel snow or get a weekly allowance to save for one.
Standing by whatever rules you have in your home is important. If you don’t buy expensive gifts for no reason, waiting for a holiday or having your child earn the money is reasonable. When your child understands your position and you understand his or hers, you can negotiate.
With a young child who is persistent it’s good to create a Yes environment in your home. Safety -proof it so she can explore and get into things without always being told No.
We want our children to learn to problem solve, to persevere and to believe in pursuing their heart’s desires. The less you struggle with your child, the more peaceful your home becomes.
When you look for the Yes, everyone can win. Know too when to say No if a request doesn’t go along with family rules such as wanting to play a video game for 3 hours when the rule in the house is 1 hour per day. Stand by your rules for consistency.
Find balanced control in your home and you will breathe easier and everyone can relax more.
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